Joy Is the New Willpower: Why Movement Has to Feel Good to Work

Table of Contents

What This Article Covers

  • Why punishing workouts backfire hormonally
  • The link between joy, stress hormones, and fat loss
  • How pleasure-based movement improves consistency
  • A tapping practice to reconnect with joyful exercise
  • Why play and passion are the true secret to fitness success

The Myth of the Perfect Workout

A client once jokingly asked me which burned more calories—sex or the gym. She hated working out and wondered if there was a better way to stay active.
I laughed, because she wasn’t wrong. There has to be another way than torturing ourselves with workouts we hate, right?

For years, the fitness industry has sold us the same story:

  • More pain = more results
  • No excuses
  • No days off
  • No fun

But the truth is, your body doesn’t thrive on punishment—it thrives on pleasure.

Every time you force yourself through a workout you dread, your brain and nervous system associate exercise with stress.
When stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline dominate, your body goes into protection mode—holding onto fat, depleting energy, and driving up cravings.

Science Backs This Up

  • Chronic overtraining and high perceived stress can elevate cortisol, impair thyroid function, and stall fat loss. (Journal of Endocrinology & Metabolism, 2018)
  • Enjoyment and autonomy are the strongest predictors of long-term adherence to exercise. (Psychology of Sport & Exercise, 2016)
  • People who move for enjoyment—not appearance—report better mood regulation and lower inflammation. (Health Psychology Review, 2020)

Translation: Consistency comes from joy, not discipline.

Why Most Women Fall Into the Trap

Women—especially high achievers—are conditioned to believe movement has to be earned, or that it only “counts” if it hurts.

So we:

  • Grind through HIIT when what we really need is dance
  • Punish ourselves with burpees when our bodies are begging for yoga or a walk outside

Here’s the truth:
Your body doesn’t care if it’s Pilates or powerlifting—it just wants to feel alive, safe, and free again.

When movement becomes an act of self-connection instead of self-control, everything changes:

  • Cortisol drops
  • Serotonin rises
  • Digestion and metabolism improve
  • You stop white-knuckling your workouts and start looking forward to them

That’s when exercise becomes medicine instead of martyrdom.

A Tapping Sequence for Joyful Movement

If you’ve been stuck in the all-or-nothing loop with exercise, try this short EFT tapping round to reset your mindset:

Tapping PointAffirmation
Side of Hand (Karate Chop)Even though I’ve been forcing myself to move in ways I hate, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I’ve treated exercise like punishment, I’m open to finding what actually feels good for me.
EyebrowI’ve been stuck in the “shoulds.”
Side of EyeExercise has felt like work.
Under EyeI’m tired of forcing it.
Under NoseWhat if I could move because I want to, not because I should?
ChinWhat if pleasure and movement could coexist?
CollarboneIt’s safe to find what feels good.
Under ArmMy body deserves joy, not punishment.
Top of HeadI choose to move with love, laughter, and freedom.

Take a deep breath.
Notice what feels lighter.
Notice where your body wants to move right now.
That’s your intuition talking—and your metabolism listening.

So, Sex or the Gym?

Here’s the real answer:
Whichever one you actually enjoy.

Because passion, pleasure, and play all release the same chemistry:

  • Dopamine
  • Oxytocin
  • Endorphins
  • Serotonin

They’re not just feel-good hormones—they’re fat-burning, mood-lifting, immune-boosting hormones.

So whether it’s dancing, walking your dog, gardening, yoga, or yes—good old-fashioned intimacy—it counts.

Not because it burns calories,
but because it keeps you connected to yourself.

And connection—not control—is where real transformation begins.

Ready to Find Movement That Feels Like Freedom?

If you’ve been fighting your body, forcing your workouts, or burning out in the name of “fitness,” it’s time to shift.

Let’s find what feels right—not what looks right on paper.

Apply for a Breakthrough Session and let’s uncover what your body’s been asking for all along: safety, pleasure, and energy that lasts.

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